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"I missed you" A Nick/Stephen fanmix

Dedicated to the lovely kristen_mara . It´s a little gift for being a sort of Nick/Stephen´s fairy godmother, writing so many awesome fix-its for these boys. I can´t tell how much enjoy them so, thanks! I hope you like it :)

Apparently, I tend to collect far more songs about N/S than about any of the others. This fanmix follows their relationship though canonical facts, mostly from S2 but we´re in Denial, so we´ll forget the real ending, ok?

Disclaimer:  My apologies for the horrible alignment of the lyrics. Songs belong to their respective authors, and if owned Primeval characters the canon would be more alike this fanmix. The screencap of the cover is from killcolor

                                                                 Click here to download the zip.file:

                           You´ve got a friend in me -  Randy Newman        The title says it all:  Stephen & Nick friendship
                                               You've got a friend in me
                                               If you've got troubles, I've got 'em too
                                              There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
                                              We stick together and can see it through
                                              Cause you've got a friend in me

                                         Betrayal  -  Fiction family    The secret  
                                           You and I were always closest friends
                                           It's women that make enemies of men
                                           A pretty face would one day do me in

                                           Her eyes were like the winter when she goes
                                           Holding secrets only winter knows
                                           The winter's seen the wolves in women's clothes

                                        Stupid  -  Sarah Mclachlan  Stephen about Helen, ep.1.6
                                          How stupid could I be
                                          a simpleton could see
                                         that you're no good for me
                                         Love has made me a fool
                                         it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
                                         unable to speak
                                         but you come around in your time
                                         speaking of fabulous places
                                         create an oasis 

                                       Stay  -  Shakespear´s sister   Ep. 2x01. After the incident with the raptors, Stephen convinces Nick
                                       to come back from the anomaly

                                      If this world is wearing thin
                                      And you're thinking of escape
                                      I'll go anywhere with you
                                      But if you try to go alone
                                     Don't think I'll understand
                                            Stay with me
                                            Stay with me

                                    You'd better hope and pray
                                    That you make it safe
                                     Back to your own world
                         Ashes and wine - A Fine Frenzy  Stephen tries to talk with Cutter
                                      Is there a chance?
                                      A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
                                      A reason to fight?
                                      Is there a chance you may change your mind?
                                      Or are we ashes and wine?
                        Behind blue eyes  - The Who  Stephen  during S2
                                     No one knows what it's like
                                     To be the bad man
                                     To be the sad man
                                     Behind blue eyes

                                    No one knows what it's like
                                    To be hated
                                    To be fated
                                    To telling only lies

                      Haunted - Taylor Swift  Nick and Stephen´s tense relationship
                                    You and I walk a fragile line
                                    But, I never thought I'd live to see it break
                                    It's getting dark and its all too quiet
                                   And I can't trust anything now
                                  And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake
                                   Oh, I'm lose you again
                                   Somethings made your eyes go cold
                                   Sit there and watch you walk away
                                   From everything we had
                  Our farewell  - Within Temptation    After firing Stephen, Nick regrets.
                                   Never thought
                                   This day would come so soon
                                   We had no time to say goodbye
                                   How can the world just carry on?
                                   I feel so lost when you are not by my side
                                   But there's nothing but silence now
                                   Is this our farewell?
                  Tears of an angel - RyanDan    Helen tells Stephen that Cutter and the others are dead
                                  Cover my eyes
                                  Cover my ears
                                 Tell me these words are a lie
                                  It can’t be true
                                 That I'm losing you
                                The sun cannot fall from the sky 

                               Can you hear heaven cry
                               The tears of an angel
                               Tears of an angel

                 Heard you were dead - The Bluetones     Stephen discovers that everybody is alive

                         I heard that you were dead,
                        dead before you hit the ground.

                        I never said goodbye
                       and now i'm left to think about why
                       why you left me on the line
                       I called you up but no reply
                       I never said goodbye
                       and now i'm left to think about why
                       why I should've let you know
                       I've never seen an angel fly so low

                    Capitán Lawrence (Captain Lawrence) - WarCry  “Sorry mate, I´m doing this one”  Stephen going in the cage room.
                    This is a song from a Spanish band which tells the story of Lawrence Oates, who was in Scott´s South Pole expedition and   
                     sacrificed himself in order to save his friends.
                      Hoy, hoy tome una decisión
                      quizás solos puedan volver
                      por la noche en sigilo me iré
                      ruego a Dios, que el me pueda perdonar
                       Perdóname por partir así
                       este viaje  es solo para mi
                       recuerdame mejor de lo que fui
                       es muy tarde cielo sabes que te quiero
                       siento tanto tener que irme así

                      Today, today I made a decision
                      perhaps  they´ll can return alone
                      at night, in silence I will leave
                      I pray God he can forgive me
                      Forgive me, for departing this way
                      this trip is just for me
                     Remember me better than I was
                    It´s too late, baby, you know I love you *
                    I´m so sorry for leaving this way  

             *. Actually, the song is a hypotethical letter writen to his wife apologizing for breaking his promise of coming back alive.
                 I should have erased that line but I like both meanings.

       The truth beneath the rose - Within Temptation     Stephen´s thoughts inside the cage room. His quest for redemption.

             Give me strength to face the truth, the doubt within my soul
             Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose?

            Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast
             It is the darker side of me
            The veil of my dreams deceived all I have seen
            Forgive me for what I have been
            Forgive me my sins

           Give me the strength to face the wrong that I have done
           Now that I know the darkest side of me
           Will I learn what's truly sacred?
           Will I redeem my soul, will truth set me free?

      El Más Triste Adiós (The saddest goodbye) - WarCry  Nick kneels down outside the cage room, thinking that has lost Stephen  

           Mirando sin mirar, a través del cristal,
          recordando un pasado en el que tú 
          estabas junto a mí.
         Más hoy, te vuelvo a ver marchar, sabiendo
         que ahora ya no te veré volver. Te vas, te
         vas dejándome sin nada que decir sin nada
        que ofrecer...

        Y déjame que te llore en un rincón,
        sé que así será mejor...
        Olvidé lo que eras para mí, ahora
        sólo siento un dolor sin fin. 

        Looking without seeing, through the glass
       remembering a past where you
       were beside me.
       But today, I see you leaving againg, knowing
       that this time I won´t see you coming back.
       You go, you go leaving me without nothing to say,
        nothing to offer
        And let me mourn you in a corner
        I know it´ll be better this way
        I forgot what you meant for me
        Now, I only feel an endless pain

          Help, I´m alive  - Metric  Finally, the soldiers enter in  the room. Corpses of criatures killed with bullets surround a not-so-torn-apart Stephen who lies covered in blood on the ground
            I tremble, they're gonna eat me alive
            If I stumble they're gonna eat me alive
           Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer?
          Help, I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer 
          Hard to be soft, tough to be tender
          Come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train

             Don't You Dare Die On Me - Leaether Strip    Stephen is alive but very badly injured. Nick visits him at the hospital

          White on white is all I see in this cold room
          Staring at the plastic tubes connected to you
          I feel like the rain outside; I'm falling down
          My whole world is standing still without you smiling 
         Don't you dare die on me
         Who am I without you?
         Don't you dare die on me 
         Who are we divided?
         I try to recall the past we shared so far 
        Something wants to stop us now, but we are strong
        We've both seen the face of death; we know his weakness
         All I can is hold your hand and wait for you
        I wish I could take your place and all your pain

           Cry - Mandy Moore   When finally Stephen opens his eyes,  Cutter realizes his true feelings for him.

         In places no one will find
         All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
         It was there that I realized
         That forever was in your eyes

         Life after you - Daughtry     Nick´s apology and a bit more

         Last time we talked, the night that I walked
         Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
         Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
         You know I would die here without you
         All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
         As long as I'm laughin' with you
         I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
        After the life we've been through
'       Cause I know there's no life after you

          I´m kissing you  -  Des´ree  The  long awaited kiss, of course :)
           Touch me deep, pure and true
           Give to me forever
           'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh  
           I'm kissing you, oooh

          Accidentally in love - Counting Crows          Love is in the air
            Come on, come on
            Move a little closer
            Come on, come on
           I want to hear you whisper
           Come on, come on
           Settle down inside my love

           We're accidentally in love
           Accidentally in love

          All that I am - Amanda Somerville  Two years later, the boys tie the knot. The wedding dance
            Wherever we go
            You know you're my home
            Besides, I want to know
            How you'll look when you are old
            And you're not just ring on my finger...
           When I think back, what a crazy past has led us here
           And I'm so glad you are here
           And sometimes things were so hard that I tought I'd break
           But here we are
           We've we come so far
           You gave me the sun
           Made me believe
           You made life a song
           And I give you my hand
           Give you my word
            And all that I am
            All that I am

J2 love

I´m currently  viewing tons of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki vids and I just wanted to say how much I freaking love these boys. Of course, the fact that both of them are so hot doesn´t hurt, but this pales  in comparation with the amazing chemistry they share, the main reason why I started to watch Supernatural.  

When I have a bad day, I just put a J2 video and I always end with a big smile on my face: in a world full of envy between celebrities, it´s a pleasure to see how well these boys get along, they´re so funny and kind...and I never get tired to see them doing silly things, hugging (I want a hug from Jared!) or attending to the fans in cons, in awesome videos whose number  apparently never ends. Long live one of the best bromances ever!


I just want to give them a hug and use this pic as Christmas card.

Welcome home


Title: Welcome home

Author: aylabones

Characters: Becker/Connor, Abby

Words: 979

Warnings: none

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: contains elements from 4x01, but written before that ep. was aired.

Disclaimer: I don´t own Primeval or its characters. No copyright infringement intended

 N/A: This is just an old silly fic that I wrote several months ago. S4 wasn´t aired yet, so there´re no real spoilers. I though I might post it before the episode finale, where one boy or another might give me an upset *fingers crossed for it doesn´t happen*

  Welcome home

  The last twelve months had been a hell. Ok, the new team was competent, it had been doing a good job dealing with the anomalies and, certainly, it didn´t give so many security troubles as the old members of the ARC. But this fact neither made him feel better nor ended with his sleepless nights, which Becker spent wondering what happened and what he could have done to prevent it. Maybe was a bit presumptuous to assume that his intervention could make a difference, but he had failed to do his job, and that thought didn´t leave his mind. That behavior had earned a couple of Lester´s lectures urging Becker to take a proper rest,  although luckily his insomnia hadn´t affected his work as lead of security. 

 Over time, he forced himself to focus on the current situation of the ARC, for the sake of Matt, Jess and the others, but the mask fell when he arrived home. In the past, he had been in wars and had lost men and friends, although nothing was compared to this: the guilt, the uncertainty about if they were dead or alive and the fact that Becker wasn´t currently at their side protecting them.

 Not even with torture he´d admit it, but the truth was that Becker missed terribly the lost members, a feeling than only Sarah, and maybe Lester, could share. It´s was weird, since the soldier had only spent a few months working for the ARC, but that bunch of mad scientists had managed to get under his skin. Luckily, his militar training helped him to conceal this, to hide that the soldier would give anything to see Danny again, (yes, Becker was aware of how corny sounded that, but nobody was going to squint inside his mind, after all) Truth be told, the ex-cop had become a competent leader and a good mate; same for Abby, the strong and funny girl who would give her life for a lizard. Despite being a really nice people, neither Matt could take Danny,s place, nor Jess Abby´s.

 Surprisingly, no one Becker missed so much as Connor Temple. Yes, the geek boy was a trouble caller and sometimes he was quite annoying, but the soldier couldn´t be angry with him for a long time. Becker blamed his puppy dog eyes, his smile, his rambling about stuff wich nobody else could understand or the fact that, despite the circumstances, Connor was the kindest person he had have ever met.. For some reason, things weren´t fun without him, and Becker had the suspicion that said reason had something to do with the “L” word. Damnit. A litte part inside him still hoped to see Connor entering the ARC, making coffee o doing whatever he did with those wires and screens.The knowledge that he was gone didn´t relieve the clunch in Becker´s heart whenever this happened, so all that stuff really sucked.

 He still couldn´t believe that their last conversation was a quickly order and some random words, as if Abby, Danny and Connor would surely come back. What was he thinking? They were pursuing Helen, that bitch never made things easy. The human race survived but their success left Becker behind and, after Sarah´s death, with Lester as only anchor.


 Becker barely could believe his eyes when he finally saw Connor and Abby going out of the anomaly, The captain hesitated between punch the geek boy for making him feel so bad, or kiss him, screw consequences. Neither option seemed a good choice, but Becker couldn´t help the wave of utter joy before a sight for which he had longed for so much time.

 He was a soldier, for God´s sake. He have fought in Afganistan and had a reputation to maintain. He should kept a remain of self-control, and certainly he shouldn´t be turning down his gun, walking a little too fast and  wrapping Connor in a tight hug. Not at all.

  -“Hey, Beck...”-it was all Connor could manage to say before being literally crushed between the Captain´s strong arms.

  Connor froze and, for a moment, he didn´t know what to do. Never, not even in his wildest dreams he could imagine being so close to Becker, at least voluntarily. Moments like the occasions where teeth, claws and angry criatures in general were involved didn´t count. Neither the unforgettable time that Connor spent in his lap. So he rushed to hug Becker back, feeling his muscles, his scent and... ¿was a shiver what ran by the soldiers´s body?. It felt so damn good. He wondered if Han Solo felt this way when he flyed in the Millenium Falcon. Being so close of Becker´s face, Connor allowed himself to think once again about how amazing would be to kiss him. He was sure that the famous fireworks would be there . Of course, there were also high probabilities that  just after that moment he would see the Captain´s fist coming very, very close, but after all, a man can dream.

 Becker´s mind was shouting something between ”fuckIcan´tbelievebothofyoureback”  and “dontyoudaretodothistomeagain”  He wanted to hold Connor and never let him go, but eventually, aware that everybody was looking at them, Becker pulled away

 -I mean...welcome, both of you- he whispered awkwardly, and hugged quickly an amused Abby.

  He took a step away and stopped to look at them. Connor and Abby were dirty, tired and certainly didn´t smell like roses. Furthermore, Becker knew that his soldiers would be teasing him along all the week for behaving like such a sentimental fool but somehow he didn´t really care for that. Connor was alive, back to his own timeline and at that moment he had one of those smiles that could light up a football field. Someday, when he felt brave enough, Becker would ask him out for dinner. He had a new chance and wasn´t going to waste it.


First ginger sapiens alive

Title: First ginger sapiens alive

Characters: Danny Quinn

Words: 96

I don´t own Primeval or its characters. No copyright infringement intended

A/N: written for primeval100  #215 "Trapped on a wrong side on an anomaly"

He ran, ran as hell, just in time to see disappear the sparkling pieces of floating glass that meant his return to home. Damnit, how he hated when those things did that.

He tried to focus on his current situation: he was alone, millions of years away from Connor and Abby, with the only company of a corpse of raptor, a dead bitch and a bunch of hominids with a serious lack of conversation.

Well, Danny was a man with resources, he would think of something.

For now, he really needed to find a big stick

And the world begins again

Title: And the world begins again

Characters: ARC team from S2

Words: 100

Disclaimer: I don´t own Primeval or its characters. No copyright infringement intended . Title taken from the amazing song “Better days” by Goo Goo Dolls

A/N: written for primeval100 challenge #214 "And then there were none of them". I´m so sorry for being late. 

 After ages filling paperwork, any excuse to escape from that invention of the Devil was welcomed. Cutter stopped walking, a coffee in his hand, before the main room of the ARC 

 Abby was feeding Monty, Lester´s official hero. His boss was currently speaking to Jenny while, between screens and wires, Connor talked enthusiastically with a smiling Stephen, the bandage on his ribs as a painful reminder of everything Nick could have lost.

 Cutter smiled and wondered how he could think that there were dispensable members in his team. Recent events had taught him the answer: there were none of them.

Primeval drabble: A promise of a lifetime

Title:  A promise of a lifetime
Characters: Becker/ Connor
Words: 96 (without the title)
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I don´t own Primeval or its characters. No copyright infringement intended
A/N: written for primeval100 challenge #213 "Light at the end of the tunnel". Mi first drabble ever, so I apologize if it sucks and for any grammatical mistakes.

Becker had spent months wondering what was so interesting and loveable in Connor

One year of his darknest nights having found the answer.

Uncountless hours thanking God because Connor and Abby were alive, and not together

Fifteen minutes staring Connor´s door, before knocking and opening his heart.

Almost two years of utter happiness.

Becker wasn´t a fool: sooner or later one of them might be killed for something with sharp teeth.

But for now, he got the ring in his pocket and dared to hope the fairy tale: 

Connor, him and the next fifty years

Fanmix: Facing Loneliness

Well, my first LJ entry...One of the last Primeval Denial fanmixes inspired me to begin to recolect these songs. I have picked from here and there since this is focused in characters´feelings during certain moments in the show


Sorry, as much as I love Denial, I have made this basing only in series canon (later, we´ll see). It contains stuff of the first three seasons, but it´s mostly about S2, especially related to Nick   (his relationship with Stephen could creat dozens of fanmixes), with hints of Connor/Abby. I have picked certain lines of the lyrics which I think they fit, so I apologize if they are too long.


Disclaimer: the tecnologies hate me so I haven´t made the pic of the front cover, only borrowed from Google. Except the letters, the whole credit belongs to its author.

Hope you enjoy them!


1. Flowers for a ghost – Thriving Ivory  

2. Try not to remember - Sheryl Crow

3. Precious - Depeche Mode

4. If today was your last day? - Nickelback

5. I´m sorry - Brenda Lee

6. You don´t see me - Jossie and the Pussicats

7. I hurt too- Katie Herzig

8. Until the end - Breaking Benjamin

9. 4.a.m forever - Lost Prophets

10. Holding out for a hero - Bonnie Tyler

11. Bye, bye, beautiful - Nightwish

12. Wherever you will go - The Calling

13. The only exception - Paramore

14. Keep holding on - Avril Lavigne



Flowers for a ghost – Thriving Ivory   Nick´s thoughts concerning Helen´s disappearance


You disappear with all your good intentions
And all I am is all I could not mention
Like who will bring me flowers when it's over
And who will give me comfort when it's cold

She took a plane to somewhere out in space
To start a life and maybe change the world


Don't ever say goodbye

See my head aches from all this thinkin'
 Wonder what you do and where it is you stay
These questions like a whirlwind, they carry me away


Try not to remember – Sheryl Crow  Cutter´s feelings about the loss of his own timeline



Try to erase the smell of freedom
And every face that happened to meet mine

What still remains omething unrelenting
I'll say the names of those I left behind

We are the same, fighting for something
What's left to gain? There's no means to an end


In the still of the night
Do you laugh, do you cry?
Do you try not to remember?
If it's a question of fate
Do you love, do you hate?
Do you try not to remember?




Precious – Depeche Mode  Stephen to Nick, after Helen´s revelation


Things get damaged, things get broken
I thought we'd manage but words left unspoken
Left us so brittle  there was so little left to give...

I pray you learn to trust, have faith in both of us
And keep room in your heart for two.



If today was your last day?  - Nickelback   Nick must cope with everything in S2


If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Leave old pictures in the past
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?


Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side



I´m sorry –Brenda Lee   Stephen apologies to Nick


I'm sorry, so sorry that I was such a fool.
I didn't know love could be so cruel.

Please accept my apology, but love is blind,
And I was too blind to see.
You tell me mistakes are part of being young
But that don't right the wrong that's been done


You dont see me –Jossie and the Pussicats Connor thinks about Abby, during S2



I'm speechless and faded, it's too complicated
Is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends?


Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could


I wish I was lonely Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through and not enough to you



I hurt too – Katie Herzig.  Stephen to Nick, about his broken relationship


When the lies speak the loudest
When your friends are starting to leave
When you’re broken by people like me

I hurt too, I hurt too

When an ocean sits right between us
There is no sign that we’ll ever cross
You should know now that I feel the loss


Until the end – Breaking Benjamin  Stephen´s thoughts before his sacrifice



I'm done with these endeavors. Alone I walk the winding way.
(Here I stay)

Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate. It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.


I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

The final fight I'll win,
But I will go on until the end.



Perhaps the lyrics doesn´t fit with the story, but I have chose it because I thinks it´s a awesome song and every time I listen it I think on Stephen, I don´t know why. Maybe I give this meaning in the sense of Stephen giving up all his insecurities , assuming his failures and, willing to go until the end for his friends



4.a.m forever –Lost Prophets  Nick mourns Stephen´s death


Yesterday I lost my closest friend,
Yesterday I wanted time to end,
I wonder if my heart will ever mend?
I just let you slip away.


4.a.m forever


Why dont you hear me when I'm calling out to you? (to you)*
Why dont you listen when i try to make it through? (to you)

Goodbye, goodbye,
Goodbye you'll never know.
Hold a little tighter



*This part woul be the scene in which Nick is shouting Stephen through the door of the cage room.



Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler   ARC team (and fangirls) about Becker


Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta soon
And he's gotta be larger than life



Actually, I think the title “The world was a mess and his hair was perfect” fits him really well, but not the lyrics


 Bye, bye, beautiful – Nightwish    Nick´s last conversation with Helen  (of course, the concept “beautiful” is optional xDD)
Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you? Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate? Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don´t you see?
  Wherever you will go – The Calling   Nick thinks about Connor just before his death

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own



The only exception – Paramore     Abby and his relationship with Connor at the end of S3 and the year in the past



And i've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortale, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that i was content
With loneliness
os none of it was ever worth the risk, but
You, are, the only exception
Ive got a tight grip on reality But i cant
Let go of what's in front of me here



Keep holding on -  Avril Lavigne   Connor and Abby stuck in the Cretaceous



You're not alone , together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold and it feels like the end
There's no place to go, you know I won't give in
No I won't give in